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The thing I can not get around is how my two brothers have died just a few years after our parents. It is not fair. Whose freakin plan was this?


( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 18th, 2013 04:09 pm (UTC)
The plan is that there is no plan. I am so sorry for all the recent loss in your life. Cherish your daughter.

I have had a nasty, nasty year but I think I am turning around now. I sure hope so...
Aug. 18th, 2013 11:33 pm (UTC)
Yes, I know---I have TWO daughters to cherish, one out of the nest and one still in and out and in... and I do cherish them. They are my heart. I would not have gotten through these last months without them. Not at all.
Aug. 18th, 2013 04:10 pm (UTC)
Will you guys be ok if dogs are not the main topic here? A dog break. Not breaking the dog.
Aug. 18th, 2013 07:08 pm (UTC)
Of course, hon. Your blog, your rules. *hugs*

Edited at 2013-08-18 07:09 pm (UTC)
Aug. 18th, 2013 10:18 pm (UTC)
I would much more prefer to have you here than not at all!
Aug. 18th, 2013 11:34 pm (UTC)
then i will make the ef-fort to be here.
Aug. 18th, 2013 11:31 pm (UTC)
Of course!

Hey there.
Aug. 19th, 2013 12:06 am (UTC)
talking truck
I gave away my brother's truck. I gave it to someone to get it off the road because thats what the lawyer said to do, but I'm going to let this guy have it when its time... he was good to my brother... But Sitting in my brother's workworn truck, starting the motor, the smell, sitting in his seat, all kinds of tools under the seats, everywhere... was like being WITH my brother. that solid feeling. that figure out any problem feeling, that easy, cool, big brother feeling/ I wish we could keep the truck. but its too much to make it roadworthy, too much for insurance... but I sure would like to haul my own stuff, put gravel in the driveway, all kinds of projects... 95 Nissan, white... extended cab.
Aug. 19th, 2013 12:12 am (UTC)
Re: talking truck
I hear you.

I had that exact truck for almost twelve years, longer than any vehicle I've ever owned. Mine was white but had a couple of aqua stripes on each side, tho. I sold it 2 1/2 years ago when I bought Spin's '92 Subaru, which I'm still driving.

Aug. 18th, 2013 07:10 pm (UTC)
No plan, and sometimes life is so unfair its just breathtaking. I'm so sorry.
Aug. 18th, 2013 08:51 pm (UTC)
I kept feeling like "what next?" this year. Jim, Clarene, then supposedly me and then the other shoe did drop and Yoda followed by Jack. So 2 people, 1 almost person (me), 1 dog and 1 cat. Fingers crossed for fall and winter to be loss-free.

I was lucky in that my parents passed with a decade between and the same for Jim's parents. I think it is too hard with 2 generations so close - leaves no time to properly grieve and come to terms with your new existence - how to patch the hole in your life or try to make it shrink. I liken your situation to a boat with many holes in it and trying to stop it sinking is a mammoth undertaking. That's where your daughter will help you and guide you.
Aug. 18th, 2013 11:58 pm (UTC)
i can not burry/memorialize ANYONE else. I can not. I just can not. I suppose then that means I will have to go before everyone else... thats rotten too. There was time between my parents passing and my brothers, but My parents got to live into their 80s, my brothers only into their 60s.
Today when I went to pick up my husband and daughter at the airport coming home from Ireland, I thought I would feel whole... I expected to feel whole and I was happy to see them, so happy, but I strangely did not feel whole, it was just a new wave of feeling how my brother is not here... yes, boat of holes... buoyant daughters.
Aug. 19th, 2013 02:01 am (UTC)
I lost one of my sisters when she was 49 and then a few years later my father and a year after that, my mother. I still have 2 sisters left and their kids but somehow the center went out and I feel like my family is in tatters. I sometimes look at whole, happy families and wonder if they know what they have,
Aug. 19th, 2013 11:08 pm (UTC)
This losing family has been very hard. I feel very much in broken pieces, or I feel like the piece that's left after lots of pieces have broken off. Sixteen years ago within three years I lost my mother, my father, and my husband. Now within the last three years it's my brother, my stepson, and now my other brother. I wasn't very close to my stepson. We'd had conflict, but he was just getting his life together taking care of his kids. Now I just have Dinah and her family.
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )